Pirates ahoy

WE'RE used to pirates at the Mem.
But it appears some of those ne'er-do-well's of the Somalian variety have turned up in north Bristol.
And, what's worse, they have taken one of our star players hostage.
At least, that's the only thing I can conclude from an item that appeared via the wonderful world of twitter.
This cry for help was posted by our wing magician Mustapha Carayol:
"Being held against your will is the worst thing in the world, particularly when promises are broken..."
I'm sure the Irish journalist Bryan Keenan, while handcuffed to a radiator in Lebanon for years, felt exactly the same way.
As did that poor couple who sailed into treacherous waters in the Indian Ocean during a world tour and were kidnapped by Somalis.
Others tell me different, though. They say that Muzzy is in a tizzy because Bristol Rovers have blocked his move to a Championship club.
Apparently, we don't want him to go unless the price is right for us.
What a bunch of meanies!
After all, it's not as if this hard-put-upon player signed a contract with us, tying him to the club for two years, is it?
Oh, hang on. He did, didn't he?
Mind you, these contracts aren't worth the paper they are written on once one of today's molly-coddled stars want to move on. All they have to do is throw their toys out of the pram, go on "strike" and they eventually get what they want.
Stranger, is the amount of sympathy shown to a player we rescued from non-league oblivion at Lincoln, where all his brilliant skills failed to keep them in the Football League.
Apparently, though, he only turned up there when he felt like it, and spent the rest of the time injured on the sidelines.
For us, he performed now and again, when he felt like it... and admittedly gave a couple of glimpses of his true ability in the later stages of the season.
Don't get me wrong: I am not doubting his ability. But there are no end of players with great skills who have ended up on football's scrapheap because of their attitude.
Rovers will sell Muzzy, probably sooner than later.
He will get his wish.
He may find out that his "dream" move isn't all it's cracked up to be as he languishes in the reserves at Derby... or Sheffield Wednesday... or Middlesbrough.
Some people have told him he will always be a Gashead, though, and that riles me.
To be a true son of the quarters he will have to put in more than half-a-dozen decent performances in a lower-League 2 side.
Like Harold Jarman, Stuart Taylor or, God love him, Ian Holloway did.
As for the comment he's being held against his will... the whole thing makes we weep.