Sunday 30 October 2011

All in a Stu

EIGHT months ago Colonel Gaddafi was probably sitting on his balcony, quaffing cocktails, looking over his kingdom and planning to rule for another 20 years.
Meanwhile, New Zealanders were considering how they were going to rebuild after the Christchurch earthquake.
And Rene Howe was scoring the only goal for Bristol Rovers in a 1-0 home win over Oldham which manager Dave Penney hoped would be the start of our escape from League One relegation.
How far we have come since then. Gaddafi deposed, New Zealand are up and running again and have staged a successful rugby World Cup and Bristol Rovers are two managers down the line and in a lower division.
On Saturday, under our latest boss Paul Buckle, we finally managed to win our first Saturday home game since that February triumph over mighty Oldham.
For we Gasheads it should be a monumental moment.
Flags should be hanging from the rafters, cars should be tooting their horns, a party should be going on in Eastville Park.
But the mood seems to be pretty subdued.
It was only Dagenham, for starters.
We beat them 2-0 with Joe Anyinsah and a Matt Harrold penalty giving us a vital three points.
But they are being labelled "the worst team to play at the Memorial Stadium since 1884" and shouldn't be fit to lace our boots.
Hmm. The same Dagenham, I recall, who won 2-0 at the Mem last season and signalled the end of the Penney era.
Not only that but it appears our much-loved midfielder Stuart Campbell could be leaving the club, even though he claims he doesn't want to go.
So at a time when Rovers fans should have been willing their team to hold on to a desperately needed three points, some of them preferred to sing "There's Only One Stuart Campbell".
Interesting choice of song, when Campbell wasn't even in the side and the XI players ON the pitch needed every bit of encouragement from the crowd.
It's ok, though.
We held on and are now up to the lofty position of 15th.
Buckle shouldn't be too bothered about the Campbell chants.
He seems thick-skinned enough to take it on the chin, carry on the way he sees fit and ride out the unrest.
But whether this response is helpful to all our new players is open to question.
I am not sure if I was Craig Stanley or skipper Matt Gill I would find it particularly encouraging when I was working my guts out to ensure we began to revive the club's fortunes.
No matter.
To my mind, if Campbell stays or if he goes is a matter for the manager alone.
After all, it is his head on the block at the end of the day.
And if he feels the club's future is better served by cutting the ties and letting "Grandad" go, then that's what he should do.
But before he departs wouldn't it be nice if the club did something to reward his services.
A testimonial perhaps, to allow fans to say goodbye to him in the proper way...

Tuesday 25 October 2011

Vale of Silence

WENT to watch a game of football last night.
Ended up at a sponsored silence.
Everywhere I looked told me that Bristol Rovers were playing at home to Port Vale at the Memorial Stadium.
That's Bristol Rovers, the team that had won their last game at the Mem 5-2.
But although there were over 5,000 people there and everyone appeared to be decked in blue and white I felt more like I was on a visit to the City Morgue (and I DON'T mean Ashton Gate).
It wasn't helped when some people ran onto the green expanse of grass in front of the crowd.
Because even though there was a football involved, only one team seemed intent on passing it, moving and playing to any sort of pattern and plan.
That wasn't the team in the blue and white quarters.
And as the team that did turn up then went and put three goals into the net opposite them, the tumbleweed rolled along the terraces and the eery silence grew.
I don't know how much would have been raised for 86 minutes but eventually the crowd could wait no more. They decided it was time to shout.
And, remarkably, they all said the same thing at once.
"What a load of rubbish, what a load of rubbish, what a load of rubbish".
Then I realised. The small man in front of me was Bristol Rovers manager Paul Buckle.
The immoveable objects on the pitch were my beloved Gas.
I'm at a loss to sum up what is happening at Rovers at the moment.
The fans, who had bought into the idea that Dr Buckle would create an instant remedy to everything that ailed us last season, are now realising that his tonic has serious side effects.
One of them is that you cannot expect to replace a whole team of players with another 11 people and then think everything will be hunky dory.
The other is that you cannot keep falling out with the ones you have brought in, chopping and changing them at every opportunity, and then expect them to perform for you on the pitch.
I thought Buckle had it right in pre-season. He had bought some good players who were going to work hard, but he also had given them the remit to play attacking, stylish football.
He had signed two wingers abundant with pace and trickery, a proven goalscorer and a target man.
But it seems to me that very early on he lost his way.
And now he is having trouble finding it again.
He can't keep saying he has been unable to play a settled side when it seems to me he hasn't decided what pattern or team he wants to play in any given game.
What he needs to do is establish a style best suited to his players and stick with it.
Mind you, it isn't helped by the all-pervading gloom that seems to surround the Mem these days.
Ok, we lost to Burton at the weekend but weren't in a bad position overall.
Some of our supporters should stop thinking we have some divine right to turn up and win matches, just because we are a division lower this term.
The amount of negativity surrounding me, even before kick off, was pretty staggering.
I'd set off with enthusiasm because I had missed a fair few games through work commitments.
But already I found my mood brought down by the stream of downbeat comments from the Gasheads surrounding me.
I remember when, even in our worst hour, we used to create an atmosphere - even if it involved chanting "(insert manager's name here)'s Blue and White Army" for the whole of the second half.
Not now.
Barely a whimper before the match.
And already you could sense the tension of both supporters and players.
As for the manager, they are demanding his head on a platter already. I am not one of them.
But what Buckle must do is take a good look in the mirror. He can blame the players, the wet grass and the supporters as much as he likes.
It is time he stood up, took the criticism and decided what he is going to do about it.
He should establish how he wants to play and which players he needs to carry out his plans... it seems pointless, for instance, to bring on two wingers as he did last night, play one down the middle and withdraw our most creative midfielder, Matt Gill, to full back.
I still believe he has a decent squad of players.
It's HIS job to man up, shut up and get the best out of them.

AN UNRESERVED APOLOGY: I may have given the impression in my last entry that Uncle Albert was to blame for our "losing mentality". Well, he was nowhere near the dug out yesterday and, apart from Byron Anthony and Gary Sawyer, neither were any of last year's team.
I now fully accept that Uncle Albert is NOT responsible for this problem...

Only Fools and Kit men

IT was a weekend full of shocks.
The mighty Manchester United were beaten 6-1 at home by their noisy neighbours, QPR overcame the power of Chelsea and Arsenal left their main man van Persie on the subs bench.
Oh, and Bristol Rovers lost 2-1 at Burton.
Shock?
Well, if you listen to some Gasheads you would think it was on a par with Wimbledon beating Liverpool in the FA Cup final.
Not to me, it wasn't.
The one consistent thing about Rovers at the moment is there inconsistency.
Even so, I was a bit surprised at the latest excuse coming out of the mouth of our manager Paul Buckle.
I have already alluded to the fact that I am not overly convinced about his statements in the press.
But the latest one, that he is still trying to turn around a losing mentality at the club, is pretty hard to swallow.
After all, he has got rid of most of last year's losers and replaced them with an entirely new set of players.
Is he talking about goalkeeper Scott Bevan or striker Chris Zebroski, who he brought with him from Torquay?
Unlikely. They both reached the play-offs last year and Bevan kept a record of clean sheets that went a long way to putting them there.
So what about our defenders? Fullback Lee Brown may not have played much last season but he was at a club - QPR - which must have been full of positive energy as they romped away with the Championship title.
Youngster Michael Smith was in Ireland getting rave reviews with Ballymena while centre back Cian Bolger, who was brought back after a loan spell with us last season, must be doing something right or we would have left him at Leicester.
Our captain Matt Gill was at another promoted team - Norwich - while up front Scott McGleish was part of an Orient side who built on a magnificent cup run by just missing out on the League One play-offs. His partner Matt Harrold suffered a similar fate in League Two with Shrewsbury.
That leaves last year's caretaker player manager Stuart Campbell, who tried his best to keep Rovers up all to no avail. I would be surprised if it was him, though, because Buckle is talking about promoting him to the coaching side and has made him an ever-present in recent weeks.
Gary Sawyer can hardly take the blame because he has been injured most of the season while Byron Anthony, another of last season's regulars, hasn't even been getting in the squad.
So is the losing mentality down to the management team?
Wouldn't have thought so. Buckle and his assistant Shaun North were in charge of Torquay as they marched to the play-off final.
The chairman Nick Higgs, rather than harbouring a losing mentality, has dug deep to enable them to change the whole ethos of the team, putting his money where his mouth is to sanction a new manager and a host of new signings.
The fans? Well, most of us seemed convinced that the goings-on in the summer had guaranteed we would walk back into League One without challenge.
That leaves physio Phil Kite and the affectionately nicknamed Uncle Albert, the kit man.
I think it must be Albert's fault. Not only does he look like the accident-prone character from Only Fools and Horses, but he must go around in the background with an air of defeatism that makes Dad's Army's Corporal Frazier positively optimistic.
"We're ALLLLL DOOOOOMED," Uncle Albert must be whispering to the players the moment Buckle's back is turned.
What other reason could there be for this "Losing Mentality"?

I think I've stumbled on a plan to get us back up challenging for promotion. It's quite simple, really. Make every home game an evening kick-off.
Rovers are unbeaten at home when a match has started under floodlights. We've won all three of our league games - Northampton (2-1), Shrewsbury (1-0) and Rotherham (5-2). In our one cup game, at home to Championship Watford, we drew 1-1 but went on to win on penalties.
There must be something about our players that, like some kind of hallucogenic plant, reacts positively to artificial light.
I hope the run continues. We could really do with a win at home to Port Vale tonight.

Sunday 16 October 2011

Tweet of the Year

I've become a bit of a tweeter.
And the trouble with tweeting is you can sometimes look like a complete twit.
At around 7.30pm on Friday night I was sitting at my work station at a national newspaper - wishing I was somewhere else.
Around 150 miles away as it happens.
At the Mem to watch Bristol Rovers play Rotherham in a League Two clash of the giants.
Well, clash of the rapidly shrinking giants if our recent records were anything to go by with both sides having failed to record a win in four successive games.
I can't even say I was quietly confident after our recent two performances - particularly the 3-1 home defeat to mighty Cheltenham a fortnight earlier.
But, still.
We had virtually a full squad to pick from and our manager, Paul Buckle, was confident.
He insisted that he no longer had to play square pegs in round holes and that he could pick exactly the team he wanted.
Logging on to twitter, I saw that the team had been announced.
And, I must admit, was particularly underwhelmed.
Not, I will hastily add, about the fact he had chosen three men across the middle of the park in the form of Stuart Campbell, Matt Gill and Craig Stanley.
But because he was playing a left back at centre half and three strikers, none of whom had any experience of playing out wide.
Unable to contain myself, I tweeted.
"Question 3 strikers & no width. Bizarre bench too. One defender and four strikers - heaven forbid we have any injuries."
RESULT: Mighty Gas 5, Yorkshire puddings 2
My next tweet? "How dare I question the tactics and formation of the great Paul Buckle *slaps wrist*"
It's got to be said that the man appears to have redeemed himself in the eyes of our rather restless bunch.
By all accounts it was a very impressive performance, though it's got to be said that one big victory doesn't guarantee a promotion run.
And, stealing the nickname given to the former Chelsea boss Claudio Ranieri, I think Mr Buckle is a bit of a tinkerman.
Nothing else can really explain why he has on occasion played our most dangerous goalscoring threat Scott McGleish out wide.
McGleish, returned to his favoured position up front, scored two of the five goals on Friday and must stay up front.
Still, can't grumble.
We have now reached the lofty heights of 14th and improved our goal difference, to boot.
And for once I've been able to enjoy a long weekend without having to worry about the state of my magnificent football club.
In fact, Saturday was pretty enjoyable all round: I wasn't sat, biting my nails, trying to follow the Gas on a slow time BBC feed.
I was relaxed, laidback and carefree.
A state that almost accended into Utopia when one particular football result came through: Bristol City 1 Peterborough 2.
Oh my.

Thursday 13 October 2011

The Buckle's burst

BRISTOL ROVERS are so used to things going wrong that I believe we actually coined a phrase to come out with whenever we sank to a new low.
Or rather, we used the name of a former club employee to sum up our feelings.
"Gordon Bennett!" was the cry when another pass slipped astray, another goal hit our net, another three points were snatched from our flimsy grasp.
Yes, we did actually employ a certain Mr Bennett behind the scenes as youth development officer and then chief executive back in the dim and murky past.
But even the unfortunately named Gordon finally admitted defeat and moved on to pastures new when things got TOO tough to handle.
It just sums up how low things can get here.
And, according to some supporters, it is getting REALLY desperate now.
A quarter of the season nearly gone, only four wins to our name and five defeats, and a goal difference that is slipping back so fiercely that it is beginning to mirror the start of the slippery slope from last season.
And Mr Buckle, our saviour, the man who was going to bring back free-flowing football to the Mem, kick out the deadwood and launch us back to the lofty heights of League One, is now well and truly in the firing line.
He isn't helping himself.
For if there is one thing a Rovers fan can't abide it is excuses.
From our new manager the list has been growing: The grass is at fault, the injury list is at fault, not being able to pick the same side is at fault (even though, when he has had the chance he has decided against it - take Matt Harrold's exclusion).
And now... the cardinal sin... the fans are at fault.
For getting on the backs of the team and jeering when they are bashed 3-1 at home by the world-beating brand name that is Cheltenham Town.
Now don't get me wrong, I have absolutely no desire to push Mr Buckle towards the door.
The worst possible thing in our current situation is to become one of those clubs that adopts a revolving door policy for managers when things don't seem to be going according to plan.
What I would like him to do is shut up, now, and let his team do some talking on the pitch.
I'm a Buckle fan because he came in with a breath of fresh air and blew away some of the humungous cobwebs clinging to this club.
And I readily accept his reasoning that some of last season's squad were lazy and just making up the numbers to pick up their pay cheque.
In fact, on the few occasions I have managed to see my beloved Gas this season our players have looked to have far more potential than their predecessors - particularly where work ethic is concerned.
Come to think of it I've seen us beat Northampton and Shrewsbury at home, and win away at Wimbledon.
So perhaps the problem is that I haven't been able to see my team enough!
Come to think of it, Mr Buckle, you can try this out for size after the Rotherham game if it doesn't go our way. "We didn't win because Buckrippers wasn't here." Sorted.
Joking aside, Buckle now has to prove that he has got what it takes to not only build a side to win matches, but to play entertaining football in the process.
It's a big task because in the fans' eyes he is fast going the same way as his predecessor Dave Penney (two managers back, after the brief caretaker spell in charge by Stuart Campbell).
I thought Penney should have had more time to perform his act of major surgery, but the fans turned on him.
Rovers supporters are certainly a restless bunch these days.
But it's not for the reasons Mr Buckle thinks: That we are not used to losing (Give us a break, I've been used to losing for 40 odd years!), that we have no patience (hang on, we waited a long time to get out of this sodding division the last time and STILL turned up), and that we have too much expectation (You obviously don't know us at all, when the height of some of our expectations was mid-table in League One until recently).
Perhaps you should take a bit more time to understand us, Mr Buckle, our history and what we are about.
Because, as far as I can see, so far you have got everything you have asked for from our chairman Mr Higgs.
It's time you gave us something in return... a team of which we can be proud.

Friday 7 October 2011

Gizza job

AFTER the miracle of Morecambe came the choke against Cheltenham.
Now I am wondering which Bristol Rovers will show up at Oxford tomorrow.
One thing is for sure: there will be 3,000 Gasheads shouting their heads off to get Paul Buckle's boys back on the right track.
With 11 games gone our beloved Gas have slipped to 15th - but are still only a few points off the play-off places.
Just goes to show that there is a thin line between success and failure at this early stage of the season.
It is almost as though the pressure at home is getting a bit too much for this current crop of players to cope with.
Score first, and they generally go on to win.
But fall behind and the crowd are quick to get on their back, causing a nervous reaction and some pretty awful individual errors.
Still, I think it will take a few more games to sort this division out into its true pecking order.
Our inconsistencies have been cushioned somewhat by what is going on across the city.
The team we dare not mention are lying rock-bottom in the Championship.
And unfortunately, despite our desperate pleas, they decided to dispense with the services of manager Keith Millen after the shocking 5-0 loss to Ian Holloway's Blackpool last week.
Ah, Olly. Our Olly. A Gashead through and through, administering the final blow to his opponent.
It must have been a sweet moment tinged with regret.
I think I have the solution for our Bristol brethren, though.
Having severed my final ties with News International today after a period of what is commonly known in football managerial parlance as "gardening leave" I am now available for work.
And I'm convinced I can keep the Trashton mob in the position to which they are becoming accustomed.
In the style of Tony Hancock, who once did a football skit called the manager, I would go in there like a breath of fresh air and change things around.
First move? I reckon that Nicky Maynard would make a pretty useful goalkeeper...