Chants would be a fine thing

THERE have been plenty of football songs that have made me chuckle over the years.
I remember a former colleague of mine in Wales telling me the reason he liked travelling to see the mighty Bristol Rovers was that not only did we have some decent chants, but we were one of the only clubs in the league where you could actually NOTICE the accent they were sung in.
"Oirene, goodnight Oirene", "Drink up thee cider", "I casn't read, I casn't write but that don't really matter, cos I come down from Gloucestershire and I can drive a tractor".
The old Tote End at Eastville, where I began my long and agony-filled life as a Gashead, used to belt out such ditties with great gusto.
In comparison, the Blackthorne End at the Mem is practically "debonaire" in its choice of song.
But the two I loved of recent times were "Ooo-arr, he's a Latvian" (sung to the tune Go West and directed towards our former Latvian international midfielder Vitas Astafyevs) and "We've got Steve Elliott, he's f***ing brilliant" (ta-ra-ra, boom teeay), belted out with gusto in honour of our former stalwart centre half and captain.
I mention this because the aforementioned Mr Elliott, all 6ft 4 or so of him, returns to the Mem with his current team Cheltenham.
And he is bound to get a rousing reception.
This bloke was a giant for the Gas in our promotion year, and played a vital part in our all-too-brief League One stay, particularly when he returned to steady the ship after a number of hammerings during the 2009-10 season.
Unfortunately the club and then boss Paul Trollope decided to part company with him at the end of that season, and our defence hasn't been the same since.
Of course, Steve's quite a bit older now and never was the quickest, and no doubt he was costing us quite a bundle, too.
But his experience and knowhow have proved pretty much irreplaceable since his departure and I just hope he doesn't come back to haunt us.
Steve can be assured of one thing, though. In this age of money-grabbing stars who thumb their noses at the very mention of loyalty, he won't get one adverse reaction to his return to the Mem.
In fact, it is already being discussed how best to greet him.
It will probably go along the lines of... "You've got Steve Elliott, he's f***ing brilliant".