Fantasy land

I am manager of a fantasy football team.
It's not doing badly.
We're fourth in the table at the moment and I can pick whoever the hell I choose.
I came back from a day out with the wife and child and sat down to monitor my team's progress.
But thought I'd have a quick glance on twitter to see if I had missed any breaking news.
And sat in stunned silence for so long my wife thought I'd done a runner out of the back door.
Sacked.
Dave Penney.
Our manager for all of 13 games and just under two months.
Gone. Along with his assistant Martin Foyle.
The men who had been brought in "for the long term" to sort out our plight.
Penney, the man who "was the best candidate for the job by a long way".
Who "knew everything there was to know about the lower divisions."
Replaced by Stewart Campbell - the reliable, long serving, club captain.
All I can think is the world has gone barmy.
Don't get me wrong. I love Campbell.
All Gasheads do.
He epitomises the spirit of the club, plays through all manner of injuries, and never short-changes the team on the pitch.
But managerial experience? None.
He's doing a few coaching badges. That's it.
Admittedly, Penney hadn't exactly set the world alight.
He had come with baggage.
An unsuccessful stint at Oldham whose fans were quick to tell us that his style of football was prehistoric and uninspiring.
It meant that he had little leeway when he took up the hot seat.
Succeed, and a lot of people were going to say that any manager worth his salt should be able to rescue us from the dim recesses of the League One relegation zone.
Fail, though, and he was always going to be considered a cheap option. A reject from the managerial bargain bin.
He weighed up the size of the task and was pretty soon aware that it was a more difficult test than he first thought.
He immediately set about strengthening the squad with an odds-and-sods assortment of loan signings, out-of-contract players and young hopefuls.
But results didn't go well. Played 13, won 2, drawn 2, lost 9. Our goal difference tumbling to -30.
Only Plymouth, a team stripped of 10 points by the Football League because of their financial woes, below us.
The outcry was, to my mind, out of proportion.
He was described as "the worst person ever to manage Bristol Rovers", a disciple of "hoofball", a clueless tactician.
No doubt you could have cut and pasted those comments from the Oldham fans website if you wanted to spare your typing fingers.
For our board of directors, though, worried about falling attendances and the prospect of being marooned once more in League 2, a home defeat to struggling Dagenham was the final straw.
They acted "swiftly". A word which is hardly synonymous with the group of businessmen in charge of my beloved club.
Did they "listen" to the fans? Well, that would be unprecedented, according to the majority.
For God's sake, there is even a "Black and Gold" campaign on facebook accusing them of doing exactly the opposite.
Were they upset with the quality of football? Surely if that was the case our previous boss Paul Trollope would have been sacked a year and a half ago.
I have two theories. One is that they "chickened out" of backing their prime candidate for the very reason that they were upset by the publicity generated by "Black and Gold" and wanted to prove they "do" listen to fans.
But the other, which is much stronger, is they were alarmed by Penney's refreshing brand of honesty in the media.
Every week he was saying that "the players couldn't defend" and "We don't have a good enough squad with enough fighters in our ranks when things go wrong".
Perfectly valid points.
But the Penney was finally dropped when he came out after the Dagenham game with a phrase which, I imagine to most directors anywhere in the land, is completely taboo.
With 12 games left, including some important matches at the Mem from which the board needs to get people through the doors to generate much needed revenue, the manager admitted: "It looks like we are going down."
Now, we fans can say that, and have been for some time.
But for a manager to come out and admit defeat is just not acceptable.
How many times have you heard a football boss, his side totally doomed to the drop, saying: "There are still points to fight for and we won't accept we're down until it is mathematically certain."?
There's one just down the road at Plymouth. Peter Reid, his side plunged to the bottom after that 10 point deduction for going into administration, said: "We won't give up."
His best players have gone, the others haven't been paid for months, but he hasn't accepted defeat. And they have won their last three games.
As soon as Penney said those fateful words I imagine his fate was sealed.
A quick call to Campbell, "help us out lad, can you take over".
A true, dyed in the wool Gashead, it was an offer he could hardly refuse.
So we went to Tranmere, with captain fantastic as manager and two of his longer serving colleagues, Danny Coles and Byron Anthony, assisting.
And guess what? We won. 1-0.
A rare clean sheet. A spirited Rovers performance. A committed display by every Rovers player.
These included James Tunnicliffe, the on-loan signing from Brighton who has been described as "No better than a non-league player" and with the turning speed of a "heavily laden oil tanker".
Chris Lines, the much-maligned midfielder who, some suggest, has gone missing so often in games I'm surprised his nickname isn't Lord Lucan.
Gary Sawyer, a fullback whose inability to combat crosses make him a candidate to appear in the next sequel of Twilight.
All performed out of their skins, Lines got the important goal, and there was a mass celebration at the end.
Poor relations on Merseyside 0, Workers cooperative of North Bristol 1.
Fantastic result. Fantastic performance. And hope springs eternal.
So what could Campbell manage that Trollope and Penney couldn't?
Well, for a start, he hasn't spent the season telling the players they aren't up to scratch.
He has sat on the coach with them, no doubt listened to their moans and grumbles, and turned it to his favour.
He has a complete clean slate.
Trolls had his favourites. Penney had hammered into them they weren't good enough.
"Grandad", as the players affectionately call their captain, was the shoulder to cry on.
And they wanted to repay him.
Whether that continues, I admit I'm sceptical.
One off performances have been the stock in trade of Rovers' season.
It's the consistency that has been lacking.
One good display, followed by two or three bad ones.
If we DO go down, then where is the long-term plan?
I was quick to salute the board over Penney's appointment, because I think given a summer to build his own team he might have turned things around in League 2.
After all, I well remember Sir Alex Ferguson and Howard Kendall being one game from the sack before going on to build dynasties at their famous clubs.
For now, though, I'm a deliriously happy Gashead because we've given ourselves a chance.
Fantasy football? Who needs it.