Friday 11 February 2011

The land of hope

I'VE gone through the pain barrier.
I've moaned about all there is to moan about. The manager, the players, the board, the refs, the opposition, the luck...
But the manager has been changed, we've brought new players in, the board have acted quickly, and there is nothing we can do to affect the other things.
After the awful low of Tuesday's 3-1 defeat at Rochdale I can't go through any more.
It's down to fate now, and keeping the faith.
I find it particularly strange, though, that while, as a Gashead, all about me is crumbling, the club's 'official' website seems oblivious to it all.
Looking on their news board for some sign of hope to cling to, I am confronted with such strange messages that I feel I may have entered an alternative universe.
"Put your logo on our shirt," it implores companies, as if being associated with Bristol Rovers these days is the passport to fame and fortune.
"February Fun Days!" it declares, as if we Gasheads are going to be frollocking around with big smiles on our faces, feeling we've never had it so good.
And, finally, the best of the best ... "Treat your partner to a Rovers gift for Valentine's Day". That, I imagine, is if you want to kill the relationship off for good. No need to send a text or facebook message declaring "You're dumped", just buy the love of your life a Rovers mug and see it come flying back in your direction at a rate of knots.
Don't get me wrong.
I know it is all about marketing and it is vitally important to the club.
But these upbeat messages are portrayed as "breaking news", which is taking it a bit too far when all I want to know is how we are addressing the myriad of problems hurtling in our direction.
Perhaps the Mrs will buy me a Rovers hard hat for Valentine's Day, now there's a thought...

I somehow feel to blame for our demise at Rochdale.
I'm not generally the superstitious type but when it comes to my football team I'll try any half-baked theory to pull us away from the impending black hole of relegation.
On Tuesday night I decided the best thing to do, for my own sanity as much as anything, was to sit down and watch a DVD and try to take my mind off the things going on at Spotland.
I'd listened to the first 20 minutes on Radio Brizzle and it was a case of "So far, so good". Still 0-0 and, by all accounts, playing quite well.
So I joined the wife in the front room and watched an episode of Downton Abbey, working out that by the end of it I could return to the radio and discover the outcome.
When the programme finished I returned to the kitchen to hear that Rovers were pressing, they'd won a corner and it sounded like they were still in the game - maybe trying to grab a last-gasp winner.
Next thing I know the ball is up the other end there's a cross, a goal, a lot of Rovers players complaining, but it stands. It's 2-1 Rochdale.
To rub salt in the wounds I learn our young loanee centre back Cian Bolger has been sent off for two bookable offences. Oh my lord.
Moments later we are back up the other end, but not for long. Another breakaway, an air shot by our outrushing goalkeeper Luke Daniels and it's 3-1.
On the face of it another heavy defeat. But it sounds like we played well.
Still, that's four defeats in a row and a hell of a lot of goals shipped. We're second from bottom of League One and things are looking desperate. And I'm thinking: If only I had gone to the kitchen five minutes later, caught the final score... it might have finished 1-1.
Oh, and there has just been another announcement from that strange planet inhabited by our website organisers.
This one is from the bookies. It declares - as if this is a chance NOT to be missed - "14-1 with Corals for Rovers to beat the O's 1-0".
Right.
We are away to Orient, who are going quite nicely, thank you, and beat Swindon 3-0 on Tuesday.
We have lost our most experienced centre back through injury and impressive youngster Bolger through suspension.
We have been shipping goals at an alarming rate and the suggestion we will keep a clean sheet is laughable.
Oh, what the hell . . . our best chance of avoiding the drop is to join this new alternative world. Now what's that bookies' number?

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